its time for another ultra-glorious myspace (even though i found it on facebook, whatever) survey brought to you by team secret falcon. sponsored by team secret falcon. in partnership with crystal meth.
this survey has 50 questions. if i actually get to 50, you have to promise to make out with me. no avoiding it this time.
1. What time did you get up this morning? i had to drive to shittsville, USA today (cleveland), so my ass was out of bed at 5am. i shall return to the capital city tomorrow evening. gary the buick is along for the ride.
2. How do you like your steak? eating meat is for suckers. though i do on occasion miss ridiculous meat products like sliders and real ball park hot dogs (basically anything you can consume at cooper stadium), not eating meat is the best decision i have ever made. aside from buying those strappy sandals i love so much. omg. you’ll have to borrow them sometime.
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? where was this survey written, france? the last time i went to a MOVIE THEATRE i saw "extract". it was a lovely little film.
4. What is your favorite TV show? curb your enthusiasm, the office, 30 rock, LOST, entourage, hung, south park, smallville, modern family, house, the soup, community - i like many a TV show.
5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be? after slumming it up in detroit and cleveland, i am content in columbus, thank you very much. unless you could take my friends and family and move them all to san diego and make the cost of living come down significantly. but if you had those powers i would tie you up in my basement and make you do awful things to the jonas brothers.
6. What did you have for breakfast? human blood. i am a vampire. just kidding. no im not. yes i am. or am i? no. yes. youll find out.
7. Your favorite cuisine? italian food, mexican food. the rest is insignificant. and should be killed.
8. What foods do you dislike? cough medicine. i know, it probably doesn’t count as a food, but it’s a consumable anyway. i am literally getting sick to my stomach even typing about cough medicine. ive heard that hitler loved the stuff.
9. What is your favorite Place to Eat? shouldn’t this question be "where" is your favorite place to eat, and not "what"? like, which building or place is my favorite to put in my mouth, chew, and send into my digestive system? definitely magic mountain or chuck e cheese. i want to have my birthday party at magic mountain this year. rather, next week. my birthday is next week. time to start shopping, people.
10. Favorite dressing? get out of my face with your salad questions! ewww!
11.What kind of vehicle do you drive? only the finest car general motors has ever produced. the day gary rolled off the assembly line, twelve virgins started to weep. what?
12. What are your favorite clothes? i do most of my shopping at baby gap. what was the question again?
13. Where would you visit if you had the chance? ireland - oh wait. im already doing that in three months. eat it.
14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full? if its whiskey and coke, half empty. if its urine, half full. either way, its probably been a memorable night.
15. Where would you want to retire? in the middle of a sold out kick ass rock n roll extravaganza. then id jump up in the air and do a sweet guitar solo, light my hair on fire, punch some dude in the face, and id be all "YEEEEEEAH" and everyone would think that i was a super hardcore badass while i was kicking them in the face with my shoes that were made out of live snakes who had been cross-bred with a spider monkey. no one would know what to do. expect to rock. and rock we shall.
16. Favorite time of day? whenever the disney channel shows reruns of boy meets world. thats when.
17. Where were you born? riverside methodist hospital - columbus, ohio. its also where i have almost died numerous times. feel free to laugh. its funny when children almost die!
18. What is your favorite sport to watch? buckeye basketball, buckeye football, braves baseball, celtics basketball, crew soccer, blue jackets hockey. all else is irrelevant.
19. Who do you think will not tag you back? michael jackson. because he is dead.
20. Person you expect to tag you back first? i would be more than interested to see this post adapted into a blog entry on "the bill wagg show"
21 Who are you most curious about their responses to this? plebe. it is a funny word. say it out loud. PLEBE. go ahead, say it.
22. Bird watcher? at what point to bird watchers decide they are done bird watching? like, for instance, we knew last night at basketball that we were done because it was ten o'clock and i had only rented the court for two hours. when do bird watchers stop? when they see a specific bird? when it gets dark? when their genitals fall off because they are 53 and still a virgin? life is full of questions...
23. Are you a morning person or a night person? i am more of a morning person than most people. once i am awake, thats it - i am awake for good. there is too much to do during the day for me to go back to sleep. too much to accomplish. too many fires to put out. too many hookers to kill, i mean fires to put out.
24. Do you have any pets? i live with three cats, though only one (the best and most beautiful one) is mine. hi abbey! hello from cleveland! STAY OUT OF MY ROOM.
25. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share? umm, i straight up stole this survey from an unsuspecting friend on facebook. so i am officially a criminal. also, i enjoy traveling along the oregon trail. and i bet you didnt know that about me.
26. What did you want to be when you were little? the only thing i ever wanted to be was a professional basketball player. and i wanted to play for the celtics. there were a good number of years where i didnt think i could do anything else with my life, and it was a sad day when my dad told me while riding in his car that i wouldn’t ever play in the NBA. still, i haven’t given up hope. lots of teams need 6'2" white guys who cant play defense. if Isaiah ever takes over the celts, i know i'll get the call.
27. What is your best childhood memory? there isn’t one single thing i wouldn’t rather be doing right now than talking to this guy who is chatting at me in our cleveland office. he keeps talking to me about his nephew who is in prison, and i seriously would rather be naked in a field of zombies in the middle of winter in boise, idaho. ummm, best childhood memory? one time i fell out of my neighbor’s tree and landed flat on my back. my mom freaked out a little bit, and made me lay on the couch. i used my pitiful condition to get an unlimited amount of nintendo playing in. life was good.
29. Are you married? ummm, negative. marriage and i dont exactly see eye-to-eye.
30. Always wear your seat belt? of course. as long as danielle tripodis and sonja yewlen are out there and have the capacity to get behind the wheel, i will always wear my seatbelt. they are the worst drivers on the face of the planet, and i dont care if they do live in NYC and boston - i still feel as if they could kill me at any moment.
31. Been in a car accident? someday i am going to devote an entire blog entry to my getting-run-over-by-a-nissan-pathfinder story. even if you know all about it, its still fairly insane.
32. Any pet peeves? well, in case you haven’t noticed, team secret falcon is basically an ongoing list of my pet peeves that grows more and more by the week. you know i hate douchebags who wear ed hardy shirts. you know i hate political nutjobs. you know i hate white people. you know i hate people who do sideways peace signs in pictures for no reason. you know i hate guys who take their shirts off at volleyball. you know i hate sublime. you know i hate country music. you know i hate pittsburgh sports teams, the university of michigan, and people who NEED you to know that they love michael jackson. you know i hate people who say " i know, right?" you know i hate skinny jeans, the SEC, and people who dont like dinosaurs. you know i hate being politically correct. you know these things.
33. Favorite Pizza Toppings? cheese. and if you follow up the pizza with some flavor ice, i would love you forever.
34. Favorite Flower? the kind of flower that when you touch it, your clothes and hair become red and you can shoot fire balls out of your hands. i think its called LSD.
35. Favorite ice cream? i think this is more of a girl question than a guy question. so, instead, lets list off the most awesome things in the world...
a. getting / giving a really awesome high five.
b. i cant think of anything else.
36. Favorite fast food restaurant? jimmy johns. i would eat it day and night if they let me. why wont they let me? because i am black?
37. How many times did you fail your driver's test? did anyone actually fail their drivers test? i took mine in a 47 foot long buick and passed it. come on.
38. From whom did you get your last email? the last email i received was from david "freedom" french. he wants me to send out an email to everyone about this weekend. so this is what i shall do. i am here to serve.
39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card? yet another poorly worded question. i would probably max out my card on amazon.com and i would buy that basketball game they have at luckys that we are currently obsessed with. it would be sweet and mark would basically have to move into our house. you can sleep in my room, sailor!
40. Do anything spontaneous lately? bought a ticket to ireland, bought andre agasi's autobiography, took up the sport of puppy drowning (a very sad sport despite what you have heard), gave myself a sweet facial tattoo of an eagle killing a terrorist to death with its fiery claws of democracy. usa! usa! usa!
41. Like your job? i am job.
42. Broccoli? i am getting so very close to giving up on this blog entry and deleting it. i am at that point where i cant decide between finishing it off and publishing it, or taking a razor blade and slowly sawing off my entire face. life is tough.
43. What was your favorite vacation? the original was great, christmas vacation was great, and the other two were not good. vegas vacation was insultingly terrible.
44. Last person you went out to dinner with? monica seles - we kinda have a thing going on. she is one of the greatest womens tennis players of all time, and i enjoy eating food. we work well together.
45. What are you listening to right now? i have the killers stuck in my head. they have souls, but theyre not soldiers. there is a difference. they are two completely different words. i am surprised you would even make that mistake.
46. What is your favorite color? green. i dont care if that makes me evil. get your face out of my face.
47. How many tattoos do you have? tattoos are for criminals and people living on the east coast of italian decent.
48. How many are you tagging for this quiz? i am semi glad that i dont know what that means.
49. What time did you finish this quiz? FIND WILD FRUIT!
50. Coffee Drinker? no.
its official - you have to make out with me. i finished all 50 questions.
ill take my payment whenever you have ingested as many bottles of boones farm as it takes for us making out to seem like a good idea.
people like me more when they are drunk.
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