Angry Blog Entry...

i hate it when you are hanging out with scientists and you ask them a question that you genuinely would like answered, and they laugh at you like you are some sort of idiot child who is wasting their time with such nonsensical musings. you know, that elitist laugh right before a condescending answer that says "oh, you small-minded peasant - your lack of super human intelligence would upset me if i didnt find it so charming and pathetic."

well heres the thing, mr scientist. first, i have made out with no less than seven girls in my life, which im guessing is roughly seven-hundred percent more than you have. so eat me.

second, that white lab coat that you wear everywhere is stupid looking, and you have what appears to be a hot pocket stain on your right lapel.

you know who else i really cant stand? people in their twenties and thirties who have decided that they enjoy red wine and have to let you know about it every single chance they get.

"oh yeah, fred and i just love wine. we have a glass every night with dinner. its the secret to why people live so long in france!" first of all, have fun breaking out in small anuses all over your body, because a majority of people in france are giant assholes. great country to model yourself after.

also, consuming wine doesnt make you more cultured or less of a dickface. werent you that drunken lunatic doing kegs stands in athens just a few short years ago? yeah, i thought so - and people dont suddenly develop a sophisticated palate fifteen seconds after doing jello shots off of your roommates moms stomach at parents weekend at the tri-delt house. people dont change like that. the only person who can be changed that quickly is the kind of person that wears diapers, and me thinks you have been potty trained for some time now. but i guess the fact that you are potty trained doesnt mean that you still cant be full of shit.

anyway, yeah. lots of cussing in todays entry. sorry. my personal life is semi frustrating right now, and sometimes i feel like i need to lash out and hurt someone with my keyboard. even if they are imaginary scientists or yuppie hipsters who have spent too much time in the short north to remember what life was like before they made all of their new white douchebag friends obsessed with gentrification and patting themselves on the back for having been present at every gallery hop since spring of 2005.

yes, i am aware that it is very en vouge to be a white hipster these days, and who can argue with those thick-rimmed glasses? they just look good. the problem is, when white people used to follow the cool kids around town and dive head-first into trends they knew little about, it never gave them a shit-eating grin and a false inflated sense of superiority. now you have people in skinny jeans running around rebuilt urban areas on their vespas while drinking their organic soy sprout lattes, thinking how much better they are than everyone else and pitying those poor idiots who havent yet completely conformed to their enlightened lifestyle. apathy is one hell of a weapon.

so today we salute you, mr imaginary scientist and ms white hipster douchebag. i know how very deeply you both care about what team secret falcon thinks of you.

also, what has happened to all of the blog entry commenting? you know how i thrive on attention and responses to my uninspired abuse of the english language. ill turn this blog around and then no one will be going to disney land. is that what you want? hmm? do you want to ruin my life and not let anyone ride space mountain? do you hear it when your mother quietly sobs to herself in the middle of the night? no? well i do, and its because of you. now you either take responsibility for your life right this very second, or so help me i will end you. i swear on everything holy that even the most hardened of career criminals will cringe when they see the carnage i am about to unleash directly onto your lower facial region.

i am like a small asian child ninja. dont make me show you my kung fu skills.

racism is fun.