Fun with Babel Fish...

one of my most favorite things in the world is when people who cant speak english try to speak english and screw it up. only not in such a manner where you have no idea what they are trying to say, but just enough for their message to still be clear yet hilarious at the same time. needless to say, its very hard to accomplish.

unless you go to babel fish online, type in some random crap in english, convert it to spanish, then convert it back into english. the result is almost always hilarious. allow me to show you exactly what i mean..

here is what i typed into babel fish...

Hello and welcome to the first in what i hope is many installments of Team Secret Falcon's "Fun with English to Spanish back to English Translations"! Today I will be telling you a little story about the worst thing that has ever happened to me. Frowny face, you guys!

Anyway, it was a warm summer day in Columbus, Ohio and your best friend Morgan was sitting in a field of flowers and grasses at Fancyburg park playing with his friends. Just then, the worst thing that can happen to a young boy happened to that guy Morgan I was just talking about - a lion attacked him! No way! So crazy! Please tell me more about this lion attack!

Well, the lion was all up in my business, and was trying like mad hell to end my life. I was all, no way! This is serious! Time to get ghetto on this fool! So i grabbed that lion by it's head, threw him down on the ground, and starting getting straight gangster on his ass. Before you knew it, the lion was being a bitch and running away and was thinking to himself that it was probably his worst idea ever to attack such a bad dude, one with the fighting capabilities of a civil war general, and the quickness of a much younger and more totally sweet lion.

Oh no you didn't! I know you didn't just bust up in this here park and try to eat me for your lunch! Get out my face! Get out my business! Get out my entire world!

So then me and my friends had a super awesome time on the big toy, and we played and laughed and braided each others hair until night fell and we had to go home for dinner. But we never would forget that day - the day when we found that dead body and almost got run over by a train and Keifer Sutherland almost killed us. Or was that the plot to Stand By Me? Who can be sure at this point.

The moral of this story is that you should always stay in school. And never do drugs. Unless you are doing those drugs in school and they have been given (sold) to you by a reliable source. Like some guy you work with. Or a guy you just met but you have a really good feeling about him.

a simple enough story, right?

i then translated it into spanish, and then took that spanish story and converted it back into english. you would think that the same story would come out, right?

wrong - here is what i got...

Hello and reception to first in which I hope is many facilities of the Secret Falcon of the equipment; diversion of with English-Spanish again to English translations! Today I will tell the small history of him on the worse thing than it has never happened to me. Face of Frowny, you individual!

In any case, it was a day of hot summer in Columbus, Ohio and its better Morgan friend sat down in a field of flowers and the grass in Fancyburg parquean to play with their friendly. Hardly then, the worse thing than can happen to a young boy happened to that Morgan individual that I finish speaking - it attacked it to a lion! No way! So crazy! Please go more on this attack of the lion!

Well, the lion was everything for above in my business, and tried like angry hell to finish my life. He was everything, no way! This is serious! Hour to obtain ghetto in this idiot! Thus so that lion by it' it directs it to, it sent down in the Earth, and to begin obtaining to the straight gangster in his ass.

Before knew you it, the lion was a dog and an operation far and thought that it was probably his worse idea to so attack never a type, one with the capacities of the fight of a general of the civil war, and to the rapidity much more young lion and of more totally sweet. Oh you didn' t! I know didn't him, as soon as it bursts above for in this park me and tries here to eat for his lunch!

It leaves my face! It leaves my business! It leaves my entire world!

So then I and my friendly had awhile impressive wonderful in the great toy, and played and laughed and braided each other hair until she lowered the night and had to go to house for dinner.

But never we would forget that day - the day when we found that corpse and almost obtained operation above by a train, and Keifer Sutherland almost killed to us. Or was that the diagram to do a pause to me? Who can be safe to this point.

The moral of this history is that you must always remain in school. And it never makes drugs. Unless you are making those drugs in school and they have been given him (sold) by a trustworthy source. As individual you work with. Or an individual that you finish being but you you have a really good sensation exceeds he.

so, yeah, thanks for nothing, babel fish. that wasnt even close to the story that i originally told you. its like you werent even listening to me. its like you dont even know who i am anymore.

lets try this one more time...

One of the most important things you can do with your life is taking care of your body and living forever. Or at least until you die.

One time I had a friend who ate things like cookies and cake and various pies for every meal. He never worked out, and he spent his entire life smoking drugs and playing video games. Then one day - boom - genital herpes.

Another good thing to do is treating your family with respect. Sure, sometimes it seems like a good idea to hit your sister in the face and push her down and entire flight of stairs, but that type of action is wrong, and should only be done on holidays when you have been drinking all day and they make more money than you do. Why should they have nicer things than me? Do they think they are better than me? Too bad I don't need stupid things like money or a husband or kids to validate my life.

Why is it so hard for a man to just love me for who I am? You know what I should do? I should just get a gun and lay waste to this entire stupid family. They don't know me! They have no idea who I am! God, I hate my life. You know what would make me feel better? Ice cream. Lots and lots of ice cream. And maybe I should buy another cat. Hell, maybe I'll get six cats - that would show them. That would show them all.

I am going to kill myself.

classic.

lets see what babel fish thought i was really trying to say...

One of the most important things that you can do with his life is taking well-taken care of from its body and life by always. Or at least until you die.

Once it had a friend who ate thing like cakes and cake and the several pasties for each food. It never was solved, and he passed his drugs that smoked of the whole life and to play the games video. Then a day - height - herpes genital.

Another good thing to do is dealing to its family with respect. Sure, seems sometimes as a good idea to strike to its sister in the face and to push his downwards and the whole section of steps, but that type of action is incorrect, and it is due to only do the holidays in which you have been drinking all the day and do that more money than you do.

Why they must have things more pleasant than me? They think them are better than me? Also bad I don't stupid things of the necessity of like the money or a husband or cabritos to validate my life. Why he is so hard that a man loves as soon as me for whom I am?

You know what I must do? I must as soon as to obtain a weapon and to put the sweepings to this whole stupid family. They don' t knows me! They do not have any idea that is! God, hatred my life. You know what you would do me better the sensation? Ice cream. Portions and portions of ice cream. Perhaps and I must buy another cat. Hell, perhaps I' ll obtains six cats - it would demonstrate that them. That would demonstrate everything to them.

I am going to kill itself.