well, its thursday again, which can only mean one thing. its time for the weekly "what did we learn this week?" blog entry from team secret falcon. we do this every week. you know.
WHAT DID WE LEARN THIS WEEK...
among the most important things that we learned were facts and held true to be factual in the grand scheme of things at the end of the day this week all the time, was that its best to get to know someone before you go off and jump into bed with them. gail and dale from delaware, OH have this to say...
"when we met, it was all passion. we 'made it' together wherever we went - farm houses, animal shelters, storm drains, port-o-potties, friches big boy every sunday morning, michael j fox, aarons party, come get it - everywhere. but the initial i-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off-and-teach-you-ten-ways-to-call-me-big-papa feeling only lasted so long. the rest of our relationship has been built on mutual respect. and a strong family-first foundation. and rock n roll."
its also important to remember that some of historys greatest relationships (romeo and juliet, sam and dave, isiah and marbury) were forged in times of great peril. that is to say, if you want something with someone to last for some time, introduce a dangerous and untamed variable into the mix. like a great big bloody bengal tiger. or a large snake. or a small snake. any snake will do, really.
getting the most out of your money is something that people in my bland office building are always worrying about. they say things to me like "hey morgan, tell me how to protect my investments" or "morgan, thats my wife you are making out with" or "what if the movie 'tremors' was real?" i dont have answers to any of those questions, though i will tell you that your wife tastes like watermellon. which is something i really appreciate about her.
what else have we learned this week?
we know that bill wagg has a new blog, which is likely the most fantastic and disturbing news that i have ever heard in my entire life. and i dont think that is me being overly dramatic either. this new endeavor will either lead to something magical and fantastic, or it will without question directly cause the inevitable destruction of all mankind. you cannot question me on this matter. i know what i am talking about.
we have learned that cocaine is a hell of a drug, and that crack is cheap.
we know that reading to your children before they go to bed causes their brains to function at a higher pace, which leads to night terrors, which in turn will cause uncontrollable explosive diarrhea. never a good thing. be a good parent and never read to your kids. its probably best that they never even learn to read at all. teach them a "twin language" that only they and you can understand. it worked for keith richards. and jodie foster.
we have learned that when you are witness to the greatest film actor of all-time, you have a duty as a human being to pass it on so that others have a chance to be a part of something important.
we know that it is cold outside, and that as people who feel things and like to talk about those feelings, we are obligated to say phrases like "its cold outside" or "its really cold outside" to other people who can feel and touch and taste and love.
we have learned that when you have nothing to blog about, you can ramble on for a few paragraphs about nothing and publish it anyway. because the internet is real. im not even kidding.
the internet is real.
WHAT DID WE LEARN THIS WEEK...
among the most important things that we learned were facts and held true to be factual in the grand scheme of things at the end of the day this week all the time, was that its best to get to know someone before you go off and jump into bed with them. gail and dale from delaware, OH have this to say...
"when we met, it was all passion. we 'made it' together wherever we went - farm houses, animal shelters, storm drains, port-o-potties, friches big boy every sunday morning, michael j fox, aarons party, come get it - everywhere. but the initial i-want-to-rip-your-clothes-off-and-teach-you-ten-ways-to-call-me-big-papa feeling only lasted so long. the rest of our relationship has been built on mutual respect. and a strong family-first foundation. and rock n roll."
its also important to remember that some of historys greatest relationships (romeo and juliet, sam and dave, isiah and marbury) were forged in times of great peril. that is to say, if you want something with someone to last for some time, introduce a dangerous and untamed variable into the mix. like a great big bloody bengal tiger. or a large snake. or a small snake. any snake will do, really.
getting the most out of your money is something that people in my bland office building are always worrying about. they say things to me like "hey morgan, tell me how to protect my investments" or "morgan, thats my wife you are making out with" or "what if the movie 'tremors' was real?" i dont have answers to any of those questions, though i will tell you that your wife tastes like watermellon. which is something i really appreciate about her.
what else have we learned this week?
we know that bill wagg has a new blog, which is likely the most fantastic and disturbing news that i have ever heard in my entire life. and i dont think that is me being overly dramatic either. this new endeavor will either lead to something magical and fantastic, or it will without question directly cause the inevitable destruction of all mankind. you cannot question me on this matter. i know what i am talking about.
we have learned that cocaine is a hell of a drug, and that crack is cheap.
we know that reading to your children before they go to bed causes their brains to function at a higher pace, which leads to night terrors, which in turn will cause uncontrollable explosive diarrhea. never a good thing. be a good parent and never read to your kids. its probably best that they never even learn to read at all. teach them a "twin language" that only they and you can understand. it worked for keith richards. and jodie foster.
we have learned that when you are witness to the greatest film actor of all-time, you have a duty as a human being to pass it on so that others have a chance to be a part of something important.
we know that it is cold outside, and that as people who feel things and like to talk about those feelings, we are obligated to say phrases like "its cold outside" or "its really cold outside" to other people who can feel and touch and taste and love.
we have learned that when you have nothing to blog about, you can ramble on for a few paragraphs about nothing and publish it anyway. because the internet is real. im not even kidding.
the internet is real.
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3 comments:
shut up
anonymous - a helpful tip: air dry your ed hardy and tap-out shirts. theyll last longer!
I'm getting you an Ed Hardy shirt for your birthday with skinny jeans :)
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