the top ten reasons why dinosaurs are awesome...
1. dinosaurs are always walking around killing things and eating them raw. when other animals try to get in on the hot dinner action, dinosaurs are like "GET THE F*#K OUT OF HERE BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU" which is something that most humans would be too scared to actually say to an animal.
2. when dinosaurs get engaged, you dont have to hear about it every ten seconds via facebook status updates. "dinner with my fiance!" "im the luckiest girl in the world! :)" "miss my fiance! :(" yeah, we get it, youre engaged. while you are having your kids and going to parent-teacher conferences, i will be busy not getting grief for playing basketball during the week, snorting lines off of a pregnant hookers ass, and sleeping in on the weekends. no, but seriously, we are all happy for you...
3. dinosaurs arent afraid of stupid stuff like earthquakes, thunderstorms, meteors, or tornados. its like, whatever happens, happens. you cant change things you have no control over, and that is something dinosaurs have always been really good at understanding. in hindsight, dinosaurs should probably fear meteors. probably more than anything else.
4. cant find a bathroom? no problem for dinosaurs. they will just make dump and weenus all over the place, no matter where they are or who is looking. as a matter of fact, i cant remember the last time i saw a dinosaur actually use a toilet. and thats hardass.
5. dinosaurs are always telling awesome stories about how much cheaper air tarvel was during pangaea.
6. you always know exactly where you stand with a dinosaur. if they attack, maul, and eat you, chances are pretty good that they didnt care much for you to begin with. i have a couple former human friends that remind me of dinosaurs, actually...
7. dinosaurs never tell and ninja or pirate related jokes. yeah, ninjas and pirates are hilarious. we know. enough.
8. all of the dinosaurs that starred in "jurassic park" are all fairly level-headed and approachable. its important that success not go to your head.
9. 86% of dinosaurs agree that every single guy who watches UFC is a complete douchebag.
10. dinosaurs are fierce. and not in the way that tyra banks in fierce. in a totally and completely and way more badass kind of way. so they have that going for them, which is nice.
1. dinosaurs are always walking around killing things and eating them raw. when other animals try to get in on the hot dinner action, dinosaurs are like "GET THE F*#K OUT OF HERE BEFORE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS TO YOU" which is something that most humans would be too scared to actually say to an animal.
2. when dinosaurs get engaged, you dont have to hear about it every ten seconds via facebook status updates. "dinner with my fiance!" "im the luckiest girl in the world! :)" "miss my fiance! :(" yeah, we get it, youre engaged. while you are having your kids and going to parent-teacher conferences, i will be busy not getting grief for playing basketball during the week, snorting lines off of a pregnant hookers ass, and sleeping in on the weekends. no, but seriously, we are all happy for you...
3. dinosaurs arent afraid of stupid stuff like earthquakes, thunderstorms, meteors, or tornados. its like, whatever happens, happens. you cant change things you have no control over, and that is something dinosaurs have always been really good at understanding. in hindsight, dinosaurs should probably fear meteors. probably more than anything else.
4. cant find a bathroom? no problem for dinosaurs. they will just make dump and weenus all over the place, no matter where they are or who is looking. as a matter of fact, i cant remember the last time i saw a dinosaur actually use a toilet. and thats hardass.
5. dinosaurs are always telling awesome stories about how much cheaper air tarvel was during pangaea.
6. you always know exactly where you stand with a dinosaur. if they attack, maul, and eat you, chances are pretty good that they didnt care much for you to begin with. i have a couple former human friends that remind me of dinosaurs, actually...
7. dinosaurs never tell and ninja or pirate related jokes. yeah, ninjas and pirates are hilarious. we know. enough.
8. all of the dinosaurs that starred in "jurassic park" are all fairly level-headed and approachable. its important that success not go to your head.
9. 86% of dinosaurs agree that every single guy who watches UFC is a complete douchebag.
10. dinosaurs are fierce. and not in the way that tyra banks in fierce. in a totally and completely and way more badass kind of way. so they have that going for them, which is nice.
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8 comments:
I had a fiance that was a dinosaur once :-) I miss him :-(
All I can hear is the damn raptor sound. I keep laughing and no one in the office knows why. God I love the internet
I fu**ing love dinosaurs!
Kirbs
All Dinosaurs get thier sunglasses/wallets/watches at Fossil.
Fire trucks and dinosaurs. Two greatest things ever.
Im getting you a pet dinosaur for your birthday :)
I got too stoned to remember the lyrics to my old band's songs so I Googled my band and it brought me here. Weird.
you ever wonder why you never see a gigantic tyrannosaurus penis in movies with dinosaurs? It strange really.. when one watches Nat-geo you always get a face full of Buffalo or Lion Dong.... Its time the male saurusi stand up.... UNITE!!!
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