its a new year, which means a few things here at team secret falcon...
1. free high fives to the first five strapping older gentlemen who can figure out where on my hot body i am most ticklish.
2. my attempts to convince molly iams to leave her husband and child for me will be stronger and more concentrated than ever.
3. time to make some goals for 2010.
sit back, relax, and get a sneak peak on what you can expect from your friend morgan in the next twelve to sixteen months. or however long a year lasts. maybe seven weeks. no one is really sure.
GOALS FOR 2010
- find a really neat scarf that i can wear indoors with my v-neck white vintage t-shirt, fedora, and thick-rimmed glasses. wear it in front of my douchey white hipster friends while remarking as condescendingly as possible how much "character" local musical acts have when combined with the proper microbrew.
- learn a different language. forget english. que?
- train my cat to wash my soiled under linens. they have been far too soiled as of late.
- throw a party called "the mystical dolphin revolution" and have the meaning be totally and one-hundred percent clear to all in attendance.
- run into the grandview heights police building with nunchucks duct taped to my bare chest screaming "THE SHREDDER IS ON THE LOOSE". at least five times.
- convert as many people as possible from their normal use of the phrase "taking a poop" to the more PC-friendly phrase "laying a fresh one".
- collect my scabs, spit, and blood and store them in my refrigerator. just in case.
- introduce the world to, and familiarize them with the hot new term of twenty-oh-ten - DOUBLE THUMB BLASTING THE STRANGE!!!!!!!!!!!
- shake as many babies as it takes for this planet to become a safer, more healthy environment for our children. if i have to violently shake one-hundred babies until they all stop crying in order to protect our children, well, then thats exactly what i am going to do.
- ninja-kick ben harper in the back of the head for his continuing theft of my kisses from me.
it is going to be a great year.
1. free high fives to the first five strapping older gentlemen who can figure out where on my hot body i am most ticklish.
2. my attempts to convince molly iams to leave her husband and child for me will be stronger and more concentrated than ever.
3. time to make some goals for 2010.
sit back, relax, and get a sneak peak on what you can expect from your friend morgan in the next twelve to sixteen months. or however long a year lasts. maybe seven weeks. no one is really sure.
GOALS FOR 2010
- find a really neat scarf that i can wear indoors with my v-neck white vintage t-shirt, fedora, and thick-rimmed glasses. wear it in front of my douchey white hipster friends while remarking as condescendingly as possible how much "character" local musical acts have when combined with the proper microbrew.
- learn a different language. forget english. que?
- train my cat to wash my soiled under linens. they have been far too soiled as of late.
- throw a party called "the mystical dolphin revolution" and have the meaning be totally and one-hundred percent clear to all in attendance.
- run into the grandview heights police building with nunchucks duct taped to my bare chest screaming "THE SHREDDER IS ON THE LOOSE". at least five times.
- convert as many people as possible from their normal use of the phrase "taking a poop" to the more PC-friendly phrase "laying a fresh one".
- collect my scabs, spit, and blood and store them in my refrigerator. just in case.
- introduce the world to, and familiarize them with the hot new term of twenty-oh-ten - DOUBLE THUMB BLASTING THE STRANGE!!!!!!!!!!!
- shake as many babies as it takes for this planet to become a safer, more healthy environment for our children. if i have to violently shake one-hundred babies until they all stop crying in order to protect our children, well, then thats exactly what i am going to do.
- ninja-kick ben harper in the back of the head for his continuing theft of my kisses from me.
it is going to be a great year.
Posts
3 comments:
I for sure thought that you would have said get married
Save your scabs for the Boston girls.
I hardily welcome the new term-o'-the-year!
Post a Comment