whats even funnier is that i never noticed the little blurbs about everyone that UAHS listed below each of the student pictures - you know, so fifty years from now we would all remember what type of people we were in the year 1996.
here are just a few.
THE UPPER ARLINGTON HIGH SCHOOL CLASS OF 2000 - FRESHMAN YEAR
hello, my name is brian. last night while i was sleeping, my sister lindsey took a lighter and tried to burn off all of the hair on my head. fortunately i woke up, but not before she got most of the hair that should be covering my forehead. also, plaid shirts are super hot right now. cant wait for football season!
1. ooooo billy waggs.
2. i hope 14 years from now that morgan hughes doesnt have this exact same haircut.
3. i dont know if you can tell from this picture or not, but i am a sexual force of nature. wait, oh yeah, you totally can.
4. i have to go make out with erin kelly in the bathroom of the BP station on olentangy river road now. bye.
hi, my name is TJ and, as you can tell from my picture, i have feelings. the slight head-tilt says that i will listen to your fears with an open mind and a willing heart. the shirt and tie tells you that someday i will be a good provider. the roofies in my pocket says that this is going to happen whether you want it to or not.
i am the ghost of peter svendsen.
hi there you guys. its me, ashley. i just had a sip of this mountain dew that TJ gave me, and im feeling a little sleepy. he said i can take a nap in his room. thanks, TJ!
im sonya, and this hemp necklace and these braces mean that is party time.
my name is alison, and if you ask me, the toughest part about high school thus far has been not being able to fit my hair through most doorways here at UAHS.
my name is shane, and last night was pretty weird. i woke up in the middle of the night and lindsey zigler was standing over me with a lighter and my room smelled like burnt hair. whats up with that?
my name is sam and i agree with zigler. plaid shirts are all the rage!
the name is rochelle, and i fear that soon my hair will completely take over my entire face. i cant do anything about it. i cut it, and it still looks like this. sometimes i wake up from taking a quick nap, and my bangs are trying to claw out my eyeballs. high school is rough.
my name is rob, and right now at this very second i am making a huge dump in my pants.
hi, its phil miller. im seven years old and i like candy. and by candy, i mean drugs.
paige gydosh here, and when im not crushing morgans dreams of going to freshman year homecoming, i like to act like a snooty bitch at all times. what, you dont like it? well why dont you take those immitation tommy hilfiger socks and walk your cheap ass back to the golden ghetto where you belong.
hi its me, morgan hughes. a couple things you should know about me - first, i hate paige gydosh. second, i sold roofies to TJ and i am one-hundred percent convinced that he is a serial rapist. lastly, it is entirely likely that i came out of the womb looking like this, i will look almost exactly like this when i am 28, and will probably look like this at age 73. also, phil miller likes candy. and by candy, i mean drugs.
lindsay cowbreath here, and when im not busy making out with six-eight-nate in sams basement, i like to plaster my hair to the side of my head and make stupid faces for school pictures. did anyone else notice that rob smells like he just made a dump in his pants?
my name is alex, and i love plaid shirts. i just got done shooting the lead role for the major motion picture "rudy", and i am very much looking forward to "eating candy" with phil sometime in the near future. where did ashley and TJ disappear to?
does rob honestly think that no one is aware that he just made dump in his pants? i mean, come on. its not like this is the first time its happened.
hello everyone, my name is kathleen turner and i know what you are asking yourself. yes, that is a candy necklace, and no you may not have a bite. nothing else about this picture is funny at all. nope. nothing.
hi, ian maute here. you know, a lot of people used to tell me that i would never be able to pull off the bowl-cut-parted-down-the-middle look. looks like i showed them.
aaron deuber here, though you may know me by the codename "ac slater" or "that mexican kid who plays soccer". just so you know, i borrowed this shirt from weird al yankovich.
hi its me cory, and something that is going on in the background that you cant see is slightly funny. BUT ONLY SLIGHTLY.
i am a six year old branson nye and i just snuck into the high school! dont tell anyone! secrets!
hi its me, kristen bernon, and when im not on tour as the drummer for the band hanson, i am often wearing enormous hemp necklaces that are roughly the size of my face. TJ is a rapist.
my name is ally, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME DID YOU SEE KATHLEENS PICTURE???? DID HER PARENTS SERIOUSLY LET HER OUT OF THE HOUSE LOOKING LIKE THAT????
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